A temporary one .. to my old livejournal!
Posted at 05:55 PM by missjellybeano/">missjellybeano | 2 beanoes

Pardon my lag of interest in blogging here. The distaste for the hideous ads above, multiplied by my ever-increasing workload has completely diluted my motivation to write.

Anyway, last night, after a tiring day at school, I arrived home to find a magazine delivery on my bed. Thinking it was my weekly subscription of 8 days, I happily ripped it open... to find a bulletin from SDU (Social Development Unit) instead. Most graduates will find themselves automatic members of the unit unless they have married or opt-out of the scheme. Usually, I will toss these mailers into the bin because I detest being coerced into any social contracts by evil conniving messages trying to frighten and dig out your hidden fears of loneliness (but masquerading as pretty pictures of blissful couples).

As I was contemplating whether to laugh or to cry at the "Instructions on what to do on a date", a little black book fell out of the package. How clever! SDU decided to send us all a little black book, much like the little black book of treasures you see in movies, containing lists and lists of names and numbers.

Except... the little black book is empty! (What's the point?)

Get your own numbers, you say? Well, in this tech-savvy age, I daresay nobody owns a telephone-number book anymore. Everyone records telephone numbers in their reliable and handy cellular phones. In fact, I bet none of you out there will remember more than 5 handphone numbers should you lose your phone! Aha! See how vulnerable you are.

Anyhoo, my point is, if SDU wants to give us a little black book, I say, give us a nice handy cellular instead! Or a big discount on handphones, also can lah.

Posted at 10:07 AM by missjellybeano/">missjellybeano | 6 beanoes

Argh. If I can only blindfold myself each time I use my tabulas site and scroll down a little (and ignore fugly advertisements), I will feel much better about blogging. Anyhow, in times of unfortunate events, there are still minor hilariety to be found in my daily conversations. The first one was yesterday, when I picked up my phone and was greeted by a frantically screaming banshee.

Whoops. My bad. It was my aunt. The one who went on the US trip with me. She is only slightly a decade older than me and I like to (read: think it is safer to) say she looks younger than her age.

Aunt: MEI MEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Screams*
(Don't ask me why my entire maternal extended family calls me 'mei mei'. I would like to see them continue addressing me this way when I am like, 50 years old and watch surrounding people puke in disgust.)

Me: What? What?
Aunt: I was mistaken for a prostitute!!!!!!!!!!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA *rolls on the floor*

Apparently, she was in geylang waiting for her husband to buy malay rice in a coffee shop, so she sat outside a table. A man in his 40s came by and inquired her services.

HM (Horny man): Xiao jie, ni kai shi zhuo gong le mei you? (Have you started working?)
Aunt: Huh?
HM: Ji shi kai shi zhuo gong? (When are you starting work?)
Aunt: What? (I just got let off work what. duh!)
HM: Ni zhuo zai wai mian na jian ma? (Are you working at the branch outside?)
Aunt: ... (Comprehension seeped in)

A moment of silence.

HM: KUI LUI??? (How much??????)
Aunt: LE SIAO AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Stares at him fiercely and HM backed off)

I spent a full 5 minutes laughing on the phone.

Another mildly amusing conversation stemmed from a lunch mate I had this afternoon. I was telling him I am mildly anemic...

Me: Most girls have anemia… lack of iron
LP: Har? Is it? Why?
Me: Why what?
LP: Why most girls have lack of iron? Girls only ah.
Me: .. you really don't know or fake one...
LP: No what. Guys also can have lack of iron.
Me: But girls are more proned la!!!!
LP: Why!!
Me: Because girls lose blood every month. (I thought it was pretty obvious.)
LP: Guys also what.
Me: ... (Too stunned already)

(Silence)
Me: You tio kan-ned by parang every month is it? That's why you lose blood every month.
LP: No mah. Guys can have menses.
Me: ..
LP: Or we pang sai (read: shit) got blood.
Me: ..
LP: Sometimes we heaty ah, pang sai damn pain, then got blood.

I hope you lost all urge to eat, like I did. *muahaha*

Posted at 02:32 PM by missjellybeano/">missjellybeano | 6 beanoes

These few days, I kept getting incredulously incredulous at stuff and things people do. (Some, like ah bengs, prefer to use "stunned tio" - but personally I feel that "incredulously incredulous" shows the level of pow-wow to get your incredulousity across)

Firstly, I am like, incredulous at the sudden appearance of the unsightly advertisement above. I can either choose to subscribe finally to tabulas (and stop being a cheapo) or I can go back to lazyjuice. Grr. Either that, I will probably get so disgusted I lose all urge to blog. Gah.

Secondly, I have been incredulositified by people's low-EQ-actions. One instance occured while we were at the River Hongbao patiently waiting for Fireworks to sprout. Two minutes before the commencement of fireworks display, an annoucement was made and a harried crowd bustled for last-minute positions to view. Now, isn't that strange? I mean, fireworks are supposed to be high up in the sky and if you have sufficient space in front, you will be able to see them adequately. Right a few seconds before the fireworks started, a girl squashed herself into the puny space right in front of Sandy. She surveyed Sandy (who was sitting down) and seemingly decided Sandy looks like a harmless sort of victim one can bully and not retaliate. So, she stood right in front of a sitting Sandy, meaning her buttocks were like a few inches away, and I don't really think Sandy can even tilt her head upwards and see the fireworks! Incredible! Incredulously rude girl thinks she is invisible! Amazing! Her boyfriend, on the other hand, was feeling embarassed for her, especially after I retorted,"Sandy, can you even see?" Hence, the boyfriend was like trying to tap incredulously-rude girl on the shoulder but the insolent girl was adamant on taking pictures of the fireworks on her handphone, ignoring the guy's persistent taps like they were buzz of houseflies. I sort of pitied the guy and I regretted not telling him at the moment,"You know, you should dump her. She is just incredulously rude."

Another instance occured when I was on the bus today. I absolutely abhor taking a bus during peak hours. However, today, I was in such unfortunate circumstance once more. As I boarded the bus, I was again, incredulously incredulous to find a guy seated in such a way his legs were sticking out, so he could conveniently commnunicate to the girl behind. I mean, I know the Singapore government is fervently encouraging people to get attached, to copulate but please! in a crowded bus, if you were to be lucky enough to find a seat, your legs should be right within the seats allocation because any other spaces outside should be reserved for poor standing sufferers.

Alas, I had to stand next to mr-knees-sticking-out as he spouted incessantly throughout the entire bus journey. I had to hold on to the seats for balance and those seat-holder thingies were unfortunately situated right next to his incessantly-yakking-therefore-spouting-saliva-and-other-unseen-particles mouth. I was yet, incredulously incredulous, when he coughed nonchalantly into my hands while talking to his friend. WTF!!!!?

I breathed in and told myself to remain calm. Ohhmm-mali-ohhm.

Anyway, did I mention I am like incredulously incredulous with the super-farking-hot weather?!

p.s.: I could be just pms-y.
Posted at 10:10 PM by missjellybeano/">missjellybeano | 3 beanoes

Last night, I had some caffeine dosage at Holland Vee with some friends before heading home. There were some commotion at the coffee outlet I was at because there were some dogs seated outside. People will walk past and make funny faces at those canines. Seriously, I mean, from the perspective of a dog, these people are just going to look really stupid. You can go up and pat them, cuddle them, canoodle them, talk in cutesy pitches but make funny faces? Hmm. I think the dogs had expressions that go "wtf?" each time they unfortunately experienced a funny-face torturer.

I had a late night playing really silly games (with friends tolerant of my crap, of course) and slept this morning at about sevenish. I awoke 2 hours later to go for a netball game with some old netball pals. It has been such a long time since I last even whiffed at a netball. However, I daresay our skills are still intact although the stamina is totally blown. Wait a minute, I think I heard some creaking in my bones...I foresee painful muscle aches tomorrow. Bah.

Anyhoo, I spend my wee morning hours chatting with some chums and one of them reminded me to watch "The Wedding Singer" on Channel 5 pretty soon. I suddenly remembered a song I used to like - "Grow Old with You" by Adam Sandler and I went radioblogclub to search for it. Aw, it reminded me how sweet the song is. I think I will just melt listening to it. Sigh.

All right, off for a bath. Doodle update will be up later once I catch up with my sleep.

Posted at 04:20 PM by missjellybeano/">missjellybeano | 2 beanoes