After a brief tennis session with Sandy on Friday evening, I telephoned my parents from the car to see if I could pick them up from the MRT station. Together with her, we fetched Clarence home, played with his dog, Milky for a brief moment before proceeding to pick my parents up from Dover.

Everything was fine until....

I discovered my handphone was missing when I needed to fetch Sandy home. I conducted a brief search around my house and tried calling it to listen for its ringing tones. Then, I remembered my handphone had low batt. UGH, I thought. I would find it later when I am home.

NOW! It has been 3 freaking days since the loss of my handphone and I haven't a single clue where it has gone! It couldn't have been left in the NUS tennis courts since I called my parents from inside the car. I searched EVERYWHERE, under the car seat, inside the flowerpots of my garden, under my home sofa, every single inch imaginable and there is still no news of my phone! It has vanished into thin air!

So no thanks to this tragic incident, I am currently UNCONTACTABLE and I can't contact anyone else except for my mum, my brother, my aunt, sausagelips and Sandy because I can't freaking remember anybody else's number. See?! That is where being a SLAVE to TECHNOLOGY gets you. So if terrorists choose to attack the data of handphones contact lists, everybody in Singapore will be at a loss because nobody can remember anybody's number. Therefore, everybody will start calling the only numbers they remember - that is, 999 or 62353535 - consequently jamming up the hotline and driving up pizza sales.

Anyway, if you know me in real life, please kindly sms me your contact number TOMORROW when my line reconnects. My mother has decided to suspend the current SIM card in case some evil person has stolen it. Yeah, so I do have a new SIM card right now. And I have asked my aunt for my old 6510 Nokia phone back.

So.. I tried to look on the brighter side of life - at least I have a phone to use, yah?

I gingerly placed my new SIM card into my Nokia 6510. Unfortunately, it spat the words "Security Code".

More unfortunately, I can't freaking REMEMBER THE SECURITY CODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried keying some random codes thrice and the phone shut down on me.

Can someone please shoot me now?!
Posted at 11:38 PM by missjellybeano/">missjellybeano | 1 beanoes

This fateful day, I was bored and restless, faced with my thresholds of work and badgered sausagelips into playing any board games. He suggested chess, a game which I admitted I am not experienced nor good at. I think I played less than 20 games of chess in my life.

Me: Hey, I am not good in chess you know. I might 'die' very fast. Are you good at it?

Sausagelips: Well, I am better than you.

FINE! I thought to myself. He might really be better because I am unsure of my chess skills. I shall just give it my best shot.

After a few moves, he certainly got me checked in every corner and I found myself cracking my brains out to escape his every attempt to check mate.

Following his several futile tries to murder my king, I got tired of his attempts and was willing to admit my defeat. However, I thought I did a great job defending my king.

Me: Eh, how is the game?
Sausagelips: Easy.
Me: Huh, but you haven't got my king yet. Am I doing a good job of fighting back.
Sausagelips: *Are-you-kidding? Look* NO! YOU SUCK.

OKIE! THAT DOES IT! It struck a sore spot and I was determined, more than ever, to employ the billions of brain cells I have to shut this huge ego up. At first, I thought at it as a sort of relaxing, recreational game. BUT NOW!!!!! THIS IS WAR!!!!!!

Hence, I thought hard and plotted my moves. You could almost hear the clockwork screwing around in my brain.

10 minutes passed and he was left with only his pathetic king and a bishop. On the other hand, I was left with more. My queen, two bishops, a knight, my king and few more pawns. The tides have turned! I was now checking him from every damn corner.

Sausagelips: Eh, let's call it a draw.
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING? I AM WINNING.
Sausagelips: ..
Me: If you are going to call it a draw, I am going to play until you king has no way to escape but to bow to defeat.
Sausagelips: OK FINE. YOU WIN.

Ah. Those sweet words of victory. He has just lost to a person who he claimed to suck. So it shows that he is suckier, isn't it?

Previously, I asked him to played reversi with me online. He went:

Are you sure you want to play with me? I am good you know. Don't waste my time..

The same day, I beat him in this game all 7 times we played. Until today, he has never beaten me before in that game.

Just in case, you think I am a sadistic game-player who wants to win every time, I am not. You see, I like to casually play games without using too much brain cells. However, occasionally, I come across egomanical pigs like sausagelips, forcing me to utilize a more serious approach towards my games to prevent them from counting their eggs before they hatch. Hopefully, the outcomes can shrink some of their oversized egoes. Muhaha.

Last night, Sandy had an egomanical friend who challenged her to MSN Upwords for the past few days. He had won 4 games, and she had won 1. He seemed rather proud of it and gloated a little. A little put off, Sandy asked me to log into her account and play him instead.

Of course, he was still in the dark that I was posing as Sandy.

Before we started the game, he proclaimed:

Eh, you know. I was the KING OF HANGMAN when I was in NS.

That. My friend. Is because there are no females in the army, you fool.

So. We proceeded. First game played. I won. Total Tally: Him - 4 games won, 'Sandy' 2 games won.

Then. He started laughing.

Me: What so funny?
Him: Oh, Me losing. Me losing is funny.

Grr! So what does that mean? Does he mean that it's funny because it's rare that he lost? Whatever.

2nd game - I won.
3rd game - I won.
4th game - I won.

Current Score: Him - 4 games won. 'Sandy' - 5 games won.

THAT WILL SHUT HIM UP! What a strange, sadistic sort of satisfaction.

Anyway the moral of the story for guys is: Shrink your ego a little and we will be much nicer. Thank you.
Posted at 11:52 AM by missjellybeano/">missjellybeano | 14 beanoes

So, more about the unlucky saga that persists after the unfortunate and mysterious loss of my precious handphone.

Besides fretting over my newly acquired 'tennis-elbow' (which actually means sore tendons at the elbow), I was rudely awakened up by sausagelips calling my handphone. Did I say calling? I actually meant yelling at 1023435986 decibels.

WHY YOU NEVER PICK UP THE PHONE????!

Okie. That is, firstly, a difficult question to answer because if I never pick up my phone, then how on earth can you scream the exact question at anyone. It is like almost rhetorical. I mean, the question is wrong at the first place lah. You know what I mean.

Anyway, my instantaneous reaction in my brain was like:

"IF I never pick up the phone, then you talking to who. Ghost har? A talking beeptone?"

WARPED. People.. Hello! Think. Think. Think before you ask question. This is one of the warped situations, almost like my mum who always goes "you know lah.. the what lah.." and expects you to know what she is talking about.

*****

Unfortunate Saga #2

After running certain errands, I finally drove back home.

Now, we usually park the car inside our porch and therefore, some time is required for us to wait for our grandmother-slow electronic gate to open. So this fateful day, as I was patiently waiting for the gate to creak open, who else was to rush out but a silly furball called...

Mister Toto.

Now, right on the cue, a vehicle threateningly turned in from the opposite direction. Aimed for Mister Toto.

Having no regards for anything else, I rushed out immediately from my car to grab Toto.

OKIE NOW. Having no regards for anything else includes having no regards for putting my foot on the brakes. And that my friend, is a very dangerous thing to do, because the car just continued moving forward.

So, after I saved Toto's life, I spent like a few seconds feeling relieved until I realised my car is slowly surging forward to crash into a tree.

Without a thought, I dived into the car, somewhat super-hero-like, (with Toto diving too..thinking he is a super-hero sidekick), to avert a potential car-crash disaster. Of course, the actual event was alot less glamourous.

Regardless, it was a CLOSE SHAVE. Phew.

Ah, more unlucky events but I shan't blog about them. Later depression.
Posted at 01:55 PM by missjellybeano/">missjellybeano | 4 beanoes

Lo! The past weeks have unwittingly speeded past without my knowledge. Mostly, I was doing very dry and boring stuff. Like reading.

Aha. I read blogs (fervently, might I add), newspapers, magazines, comics, books and a teeny weeny bit of my research stuff (uh oh). In fact, I stayed up all the night and completed reading "Da Vinci Code" which Catherine kindly loaned. The plot is okaaaaaaaay (with a grimace on my face) but the non-fiction facts in the book provokes a lot more thoughts.

For instance, the existence of the value of phi.

Phi, valued at 1.618, is known as the divine proportion. Discovered by ancient greeks, it is believed that everthing that exist in nature occur at this magical value of phi. Such as the proportion female bees to male bees, the curvature of seashells, and even human beings! In fact, if you measure your height and divide it with the distance from your feet to your belly button, you will get this value of phi. More interestingly, the most attractive face come with this proportion. Ah, all very amazing to the very ulu me.

Anyway, this week has been and will be a flurry of activities. Mainly, it is due to the fact that one is getting older. When I was younger, I will look forward to birthdays. Bring it on! I would say.

Now, I feel lethargic. Sigh. Getting older only serve to invoke a sense of melancholiness within.

Oh well, food would probably cheer me up. A friend brought me to Ding Tai Feng for its famed Xiao Long Bao. Honestly, I don't think they are any fantastic because they tasted just like ordinary siew mai with soup inside. What's the big deal?! Apparently, there was a long queue, despite it being a weekday yesterday. Warpedness Alert! Next time you think about eating Xiao Long Bao, I suggest you buy siew mai from some dian xin stall and dump chicken stock inside. Muahaha.

More minor celebrations to come tonight, tomorrow and Friday. Let's hope to food gets better.
Posted at 11:10 AM by missjellybeano/">missjellybeano | 12 beanoes